i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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