if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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