You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
