Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
