you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
