I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
