He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
