So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
