who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
