"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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