Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
