We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
