Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
