I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
