This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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