if you like me you must not know who I am
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
