She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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