so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
