She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
