Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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