That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
