I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
