Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
