My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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