my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
