I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
