He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
