My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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