therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
