Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
