I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
