I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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