you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
