why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
