Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
