that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
