you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
