im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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