i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
