the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
