dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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