just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
