Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
