Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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