Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
