So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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