The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
