Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
