i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
