OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
