Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
